2009 July | Naked Celeb Films

Whirlygirl

It’s been done before, and done before better. A year ago The Girl Next Door had most of the same concepts, themes and lessons. Studious boy meets wild girl, boy breaks the rules for the first time, girl straitens her life for the first time, they fall in love, and then what? However, the amateur writer (McCormack) should have remembered to add a climax, or even a third act. It was one of those movies that just seemed to be, “Is this the conclusion?” Debuting in his first American film, said UK actor Julian Moris, gave a realistic, well done performance. Whirly Girl Monet Mazur is beautiful; unfortunately, less could be said about her acting. Profanity and nudity may be an issue for ratings, there is mild nudity during the bang scenes and what kind of language would you expect from 18-year-old boys?Nothing bad could be said about the image or audio quality. Then again, nothing new in the world of aesthetics was brought to the picture either, nor should have been. It’s a typical ‘on location’ picture. The musical score is mostly combined with a mix of pop and rock hits, appropriate for the scenes but soon to be outdated.Don’t get the wrong impression I did enjoy the picture. It was as good as average for its genre and worth seeing once. It repeats some cut and paste storyline; however, Whirly Girl is cute, funny, and entertaining in its own. The scenes at the boarding school with the horny teenage boys are hilarious and very tangible for any young adult male. This picture serves the appetite of its young adult (17-25) target audience.

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Factotum

As Barfly is one of my favorite videos of all time, I was very interested in seeing how Matt Dillon would take over the Chinaski reigns. At first it was a little disconcerting because Dillon plays it almost the polar opposite of what Rourke did. While Rourke was out there, Dillon was very quiet but in a hilarious, Jim Jarmusch kind of way. One scene that was so indicative of the writer wanting to be left alone is when a co-worker is looking forward to meeting Chinaski, and the meeting is filled with silence.Matt Dillon has matured into a great actor and I am glad he was nominated for Crash, and I would like to see him nominated for this too. Marisa Tomei and Lili Taylor were also wonderful. There are two scenes that are taken directly from Barfly, which is also interesting to see. Any fan of Bukowski’s work must see this excellent flick.

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Tara Reid Not The Sexy cutie We All Thought She Was

Here’s Tara Reid photoed at the beach with what appears to be some sort of gay dog. She’s wearing a bikini, something I usually like, but today I have to say otherwise. Her stomach looks like a mature woman’s. I don’t even think I know a mommy with such a fucked up gut. What went wrong Tara? Run out of funding for alterations or something? Celeb Taboo dishes it up again for the world with some more awesome starlet pics.

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True Blood: Season 1: Episode 1

This sets has to be one of the greatest fantasy adventures ever brought to television. It is a viewing narcotic and certainly has its’ devoted fan base. Plenty of sexual situations (some pretty kinky).

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Joss Stone Being The Hippy She Knows She Is

Here is Joss Stone trying her hardest to be the biggest wannabe hippy at Coachella Music Festival. She tries so hard to fit in with the skuzzy kids attending her horrible concert. As a hippy standard she is not wearing any shoes, cruising around barefoot with oddly painted toenails. There was one critical part she forgot to lose though, and that is her panties seeing she gave us a nice upskirt shot. You know damn well there is a huge bush hiding under there, not that I want to see it or anything. Celeb Taboo has found another rad galleries of celebrity candids for you all, check back soon to see what is next.

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Jessica Simpson Displays Those Nice Saggy Juggs

Jessica Simpson was hanging out in New York and she was letting her perfect boobs hang out a bit. It’s been a little while since we’ve seen some good ones this starlet beauty and it always causes me to get erect. She’s in a gripping ebony dress that places her titties up so nicely, they are in perfect position have some fun with. It’s about time she got out and about without Tony Romo along for the ride too, I mean those last candids of her rear were sweet, but with him there it just wasn’t the best it could of been! Celeb Taboo is packed with so many starlet photos and sex tapes you won’t even have time to hear about the latest celebrity scandals.

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Oscar: Una Pasion Surrealista

t might have been an ideal project for a genuine surrealist filmmaker like Raul Ruiz, but the dull, woefully conventional biopic “Oscar: The Color of Destiny” stumbles its way through the roller-coaster life of latina painter Oscar Dominguez. The story is pallid enough, but director/co-writer Lucas Fernandez has the bad idea to parallel it with a ludicrous plot involving a contempo Madrid woman, overplayed by Victoria Abril. Despite the star power of Abril, Joaquim de Almeida and Jorge Perugorria, pic will be ignored in most theatrical territories.

#7. Emma Jacobs


A one-armed salute to our fore(skin) fathers.

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